You wanted more personal posts so I created Monday Matters! Every monday I will try to talk about everything under the sun that matters. Today’s topic is the Art of Boucning Back.
It took a day for me to write this post, hence why it’s going up on a Tuesday but I needed the time to process and to forumlate my words correctly. I had an extremely tough day yesterday. I personally don’t take advice from people who just don’t understand as they have not been there but let me share my experiences and I hope that maybe you’d be able to share yours and we can be a support system for each other dispite differences.
I started my year by being laid off work. Is this a taboo subject?
Just a few months ago I was so excited to embark on a new career as an Online Sales Manager and though I had a bit of a learning curve to tackle, I felt I was able to accomplish quite a bit in such a short time. Unfortunately the company could not keep me due to some restructuring and I have a two week notice. Not even. Panic mode. Sitting in my new boss’ office, trying to be strong then realizing that I’m a crier. So be it. She offered the rest of the day and the morning after and I took it.
I’ve never been laid off before nor knew how to process it. I don’t have to stay the two weeks if I don’t want to. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t stop the tears and disappointment in myself. The sympathy I don’t want from my coworkers. The shame I felt for leaving such an amazing job, with amazing coworkers and a good salary for this job. The failure I am for not being good enough for them to want to keep me.
Ok. So. normal right? Who wouldn’t feel that way?
In hindsight, I wasn’t surprised. I think my position was created just for the website project. Projects are between 3 months to a year. I had a feeling that it was coming. I think I wanted the job and maybe more time. Time to have found another job. Time to have accomplished more. Time to have showed them I was worth keeping.
I named this Monday Matters “The art of bouncing back” because, though I found out yesterday, I haven’t been more clear and wanted to share what I did to get over the initial shock.
- Take Time. Taking the day and the morning after was the best thing I could have done for my sanity.
- If you’re the strong type, asking for help is not the easiest. Finding out who you can put your trust in and knowing they’d be there even if you’re not perfect is not easy but you need to put yourself out there.
- I have always been good at not sharing much of my internal struggle and finding the ones who were able to see right through it is what got me through the past few hours.
- Even though I’m still hurting, the general rule of “fake it till you make it” applies true. By plastering that smile and responding, I’m able to feel like myself.
- I woke up this morning with a determination and clearness to just be grateful. I’m still very sad but being grateful for the next breath of air, for the sun being out today, for the boyfriend who held me all night till I stopped crying.
- I meditated. It’s been years since. I again, took time. Time to stop myself from destructing. Realizing that I cannot control the happenings around me but I could control how I’m reacting to them.
- I then started writing this post. Theraputic and hopefully helpful as well.
Well. Life goes on. I’m putting this out there and maybe one of you has been in a similar situation.
Share your experiences, leave some advice. Let me know your thoughts on my new Monday Matters theme!